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Baby sick again. Just a cold but this is his 6th time getting sick… And he’s only 8 months. Poor kid. Probably cuz I’m always dragging him out with his toddler brother. He should have good immune system soon :-)

Our generation of mom

Every generation parents are subjected to a new list of ‘how to’s’ that are so different from the previous generation. Our parents love to show us how to do things we are unsure of, love to step in and answer questions we have about raising their precious grandchildren, just as their parents passed on their knowledge to them. They love and need to feel NEEDED. It is something they have been probably been looking forward to for a long time. But what do they get from this generation of mothers? ‘Putting babies to sleep on their tummy’s increase SIDS and is a greater threat than a baby choking on his vomit/spit up’ (the safety reason to put their children to sleep on tummy’s). ‘No, don’t rock them to sleep, they need to self sooth’. ‘Colic is just a myth, its actually Purple Crying’. ‘We don’t use the word no except in dangerous circumstances’. ‘You can’t co-sleep with a baby, he might suffocate.’ Ect, ect, ect… it goes on and on. Not only are we not accepting their advice, but in their minds we are also criticizing the way they raise us.

When we brought our first son home from the hospital, my in-laws were already there and waiting to help us give our child his first bath. They were very excited about it, almost like a tradition to be passed on. The nervous, new parents never having given a bath to a fragile little newborn, assisted by the wiser beacons of successful parenting. We let them help us, but unfortunately and unthinkingly, I let it slip that we had already been shown how to do this in the hospital and had done it several times (being in the hospital a month with a preemie). I wasn’t aware at the time, but now that I think back on it, I’m sure this crushed their hearts in some ways.

My mother, recently back from living in England for a few years, stayed living with us and forgo looking for a place of her own so that she could be there to help us out around the clock. So excited was she to finally have a grandchild, to be needed for support, to be my savior in my desperate hours of need and to be the around the clock go-to for answers to the billion questions a new mother has.

But what happened? I read parenting books, I googled when I had problems, I wrote posts in mommy groups, I took advise from sleep experts on how to get my baby to sleep through the night, etc. I was told to stimulate my child enough, but to not overstimulate him. I was told to not let my child fall asleep at the breast, even though this felt natural. I was told not to co-sleep, though I wanted to occasionally, but got so freaked out that I couldn’t sleep when my baby was in my bed. I was told not to use the words that come naturally out of my mouth: no, good boy, bad boy. I see tons and tons of ideas for sensory stimuli, I see what seems like tons of moms doing creative things everyday with their kids for hours - please let this be a myth, my kids get tons of attention but not for every waking hour of the day. I was told to distract children from temper tantrums. Told to encourage pacifier use, but never let them fall asleep with it and to take it away at X years old. Told to make fresh, organic, healthy purees, introduce them one by one each week - which I only did for 3 weeks then just gave them everything. Don’t force feed your toddler even if he won’t eat, let him choose how much he wants to eat - he won’t starve himself (sure, but he barely ate and became skin and bones). Feed your child a huge variety of foods, which is hard when your not a fan of cooking, but you try really hard to live up to this. I read warnings that if I didn’t teach my baby good sleep habits, he would suffer the rest of his life with sleep problems.

So not only are my poor parents and in-laws getting shafted on their parental advise that they most-likely dreamed and built up in their heads as amazing wisdom that they would pass on as their legacy, but the pressure mom’s receive to do things the ‘right way’ as well as all the mixed messages received from so many different ‘expert’ opinions, makes being a mommy of the 21st century a mind boggling rollercoaster. Good god ya’ll!

And if you took amazing advice from your parents and didn’t break their hearts like I did, keep it to yourself yo! I’m sure the most of us can relate to at least a little degree.

Straight from the mouth of an 8 month old.

Micah - Are we going to play? I feel tired, just hold me. Nap, nap?!? whats a nap?? noooo don’t put me in my crib!!! moooooommmmmyyyyyy… Whyyyyyyu?!? PICK MEEEE UP!!!!

My kids are both crying upstairs in their rooms while I am sitting downstairs in the kitchen eating cookie dough.

That’s what happens when both kids don’t get an afternoon nap and I’m worn out. They’ve been fussy for few hours now…

Break time is almost over…. Time to go console fussy little monsters. Wonder if I can get a note from the doctor for stress leave? Like a week in mexico before I go back to work? Rekindle some love with the hubs?

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